Cycles, Patterns, and Breaking the Loop

Ten years ago, I said goodbye to my mom as she took her last breath. Yet she has never left my heart. I wanted to share more about my “why” and why I do the work I do today, and how losing her shaped the path I’ve chosen.

My mom was beautiful and passionate. She was classy, creative, and always full of flair. She had a gift for entertaining and an eye for detail. Like so many women, she often strived for perfection, keeping things polished on the outside while carrying her own quiet struggles on the inside.

Mother–daughter relationships can be both deeply loving and incredibly complex. They hold joy, but also tension. They carry tenderness, but also the weight of expectation. And too often, they get caught in patterns, cycles that repeat without us even realizing it.

For my mom and me, those patterns often showed up in the form of perfectionism, pressure, and the unspoken feeling that we had to hold it all together. The cycle of “never enough” became easy to slip into, leaving little room for vulnerability, connection, or the messy, human side of love.

I recognized this in my early 30s, around the time I first learned about emotional intelligence. I realized I was repeating this same cycle with my daughter and family. It was impacting their happiness and my own. It was then that I declared I wanted a different story for all of us and my life. That meant doing the inner, mental, and emotional work to break the cycle and consciously create a new story rooted in presence, grace, laughter, and intention.

What I’ve learned from doing this work is this:

• Cycles can keep us trapped on autopilot and in loops that no longer serve us.
• But patterns can also be seen, named, and broken.
• And when we choose to break them, we create space for something new—the growth and kind of connection we all long for.

This lesson isn’t just about moms and daughters. In today’s high-pressure world, whether you’re leading a team, running a business, or simply navigating life, it’s easy to fall into cycles of stress, reactivity, and perfectionism. These loops pull us further from who we are at our core and how we truly want to show up.

That’s why I do the work I do.

Through Spark Workshops and Retreats, I create intentional spaces for leaders and teams to pause, reflect, and reframe. These experiences help people recognize the patterns that keep them stuck and give them practical tools to step out of survival mode and into grounded, empowered leadership.

This isn’t about more theory or cramming in knowledge you’ll forget in a few days. It’s about learning how to shift your energy and mindset so you can break the cycles that drain you, and step into patterns that give life to yourself, to your relationships, and to the people you lead. 

As I honor my mom, I carry forward her strength, creativity, and heart. But I also honor the lessons learned in our relationship: that breaking old loops requires self-awareness, vulnerability, being curious, not judgmental, compassion, and ongoing growth. 

My hope is that we can all recognize the patterns we’ve inherited or created and choose to rewrite them into something that leads us to living life from our fullest potential. 

Because when we shift our patterns, we don’t just change ourselves. We change the cycles we create around us and the impact we leave in the lives of others.

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