Meet Defeat.
It’s time to meet your first “Inner Board Member” and the first voice at the table.
Understanding and managing our internal voices is crucial for both personal growth and leadership development.
One of the most persistent Inner Board Members we all encounter is the voice of fear and self-doubt. Recognizing and working with this voice, rather than against it, can transform how we show up for ourselves and others. Here is an important reflection on this Inner Board Member and how it impacts our leadership journey:
This board member’s job is to keep you safe and in your comfort zone. When you listen to it, you might tell yourself:
“I can’t do this. I have no control. I’m not good or smart enough. I’m not valued. People will judge me. Who do I think I am?“
Remember, your thoughts are very powerful. Such messages will make you feel overwhelmed, powerless, and stuck. You will have very little energy for action.
From a leadership perspective, this is when you see other people, specific situations, and even yourself as problems instead of opportunities. Fear runs the show. You find yourself complaining or worrying about a decision you need to make or a recent mistake made.
This is also where self-doubt hangs out. As a result, you might not speak up or go after what you want. You will procrastinate and avoid taking responsibility and action.
As high-achieving women, we don’t like to feel like victims. We get frustrated with ourselves when we have self-defeating thoughts and then we’re even harder on ourselves.
Please know these thoughts and emotions are normal. Rather than judge yourself for having them, get curious and understand them. Every woman, no matter where she is in life, has them. This is especially true when we feel stressed or want to make a change. It’s our reptilian brain jumping into the classic fight, flight, freeze, or appease mode to protect us.
Here’s the thing, stress will never go away. It’s part of our human experience and growth process. There are plenty of things outside of our control. However, we absolutely can control our thoughts and how we perceive the situations that stress us out.
This is why it’s critical to know your Inner Board Members. The messages they tell you affect your energy and what you do and say as a leader. The more aware you are of your perspectives, the more you can consciously create thoughts that will empower you to be the amazing leader you are.
From the wisdom of my colleague and dear friend Niki Campbell, Founder and CEO of The Flourish Group, “Don’t let the fear of judgement by others hold you back from pursuing your career or business dreams. Make a heart-led, brain-backed decision that’s best for you and don’t worry about what everyone else thinks.”